As I sit here to think about what to write for my inaugural blog entry, my mind starts to wander. There are many seed ideas, ones that I have had for years, but nothing is flowering in my mind. Not yet. So, I brainstorm and I keep coming back to the name of this website, Movement has meaning. Movement DOES have meaning. I know this. All that I have learned and studied in LMA and Contemporary Dance supports this. I am FULL of thoughts yet I am blank, maybe there is too much to talk about. What is alive for me at the moment is that I am currently a perfect example of how movement is a powerful tool for making meaning in ones life.
Let me explain.
I have recently had some big changes in my life. I had my second child 5 months ago. Naturally, being pregnant changed my body and movement capabilities in many ways, what a journey! On top of that, three months ago, I moved to a tiny town in upstate New York, not my idea of a perfect location as a dancer. Since then, it has been hard for me to find a large dance community to continue my career, or should I say, my life.
I always take movement and dance for granted. I do it everyday. In fact, there are many days that I long to be sedentary and void of movement. But, now that I am in a situation in which I am not moving as much, I feel a bit lost. I can’t pinpoint why I feel this way. What is missing when movement is missing? Is it the ritual of moving daily? The endorphins that are released through physical exercise? The fact that my body (and all bodies) was created to move? Or is it the meaning that movement brings to my life?
Perhaps I can glean some insight through the class that I taught last night. There were only 3 of us there so I was able to teach to my own physical cravings as well as my students and here is what I understand from that:
As I lie on the floor, I let my Breath fill me completely. I notice that this is the first time today that I am allowing myself to recognize the three dimensionality of this natural and ongoing rhythm. As start to move, I begin to have an understanding of my ongoing sense of self through Weight Sensing, Flow Effort (mostly Free Flow), Shape Flow Support and Shape Flow as a Mode of Shape Change. All of these movement elements allow me to come back to me, to check in and nurture myself after a long day of children! As I begin to warm up, I find myself Opening and Closing beginning with my Proximal Joints (those with the closest proximity to my Core), moving into working with Mid Limbs, and finishing with moving with my Distal edges. As this exploration of Openings and Closings continue, I begin to feel my inner self connecting to my outer world. I am opening my body, my hip flexors, my muscles, my bones and I become ready.
I am open to change, a constant in movement and in life.
I am open for change.
I am ready for life, for the unexpected. I gradually begin to ride these Openings and Closings into focusing on Core Distal Pattern of Total Body Connectivity. I am fully engaged in my body now while also connecting with my outside world. With this, my Space Effort becomes engaged and important, bringing a vibrant attention to my environment while I continue to work my movement through an ongoing sense of self. As class progresses and I come into my full movement capabilities, I weave my way through all of my natural rhythms of movement in Body, Effort, Shape and Space. I am FULL, I am embodied, I have integrated my mind and body. I find my way back into my body moving and I feel ready to find my way in my new life.
As I begin to find my way around the new community I am calling home, I am gradually finding ways to move more often. Although I believe it is all of the elements that I mentioned above that makes movement and dance a necessity to my life, I wholeheartedly believe it is the meaningful effects of movement that I miss when I am sedentary (or just distracted by life). Movement is my vehicle for expression (if I could move this blog, I would be way more satisfied). Movement carries my meaning to others and allows me to be open to the nuances of the universe. Through movement I connect my inner self to the outer world. Movement allows me to understand the meaning of myself, my interactions, my purpose and my existence.